I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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