I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
