I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
