If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize