Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
