You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
