the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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