At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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