I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
