I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
