My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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