i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
