There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
