dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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