should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize