he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
