to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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