He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
