Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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