and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
