So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
