I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
