South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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