The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
