Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think I won the penis lottery.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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