If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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