dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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