I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize