I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
