I didn't shave. On purpose
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
