we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
