I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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