swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
