Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
