last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How naked do you want me to be?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
