We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
