I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
