Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
