Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
