OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
