If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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