I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
