North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
