I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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