Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
