Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
