I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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