I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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