So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
