White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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