Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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