There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
where are you?
Hypothermia
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
