Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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