you're like a bully in the Christmas story
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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