I just cut my nipple shaving
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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