I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
