oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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