he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
