Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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