the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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