Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
