Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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