imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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