There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
