His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
