Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
