i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
